


Joe and Nicky's totally awesome Malta vacation

by sabrina_il (marina)



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Consent Play, Crying, Dildos, Domestic Fluff, Fisting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Food, M/M, Old Married Couple, Petty fighting, Relationship Issues, Rimming, Sex Toys, Tears, Towels, Vacation, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26687884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marina/pseuds/sabrina_il
Summary: Sometimes Nicky and Joe need to blow off some steam so they can return to being their awesome selves. This is six scenes from the time Joe and Nicky decided to take some time to unwind in a house in Malta. Mostly based off of kink meme prompts.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 30
Kudos: 238





	Joe and Nicky's totally awesome Malta vacation

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to write fic between midnight and 3am, browsed the kink meme until an idea coalesced in my head, this is the result, lol. It's a combo of various different prompts, among them this one about petty fights: https://theoldguardkinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/4011.html?thread=1224363#cmt1224363  
> this one about rimming: https://theoldguardkinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/4011.html?thread=1235115#cmt1235115  
> and this one about dildos: https://theoldguardkinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/4011.html?thread=1228203#cmt1228203
> 
> Also, it's my headcanon that Joe and Nicky use endearments MORE when they're fighting, out of genuine fondness and care for each other. Another fic that does this really well is [this one about them celebrating anniversaries in Jerusalem](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25548220).

1.

Most of the time, Joe hates being away from his team. They're his family, the people he trusts and protects and relies on and loves. They sleep in the same room, they cook and eat together, they bleed and die and live and save lives together. The longer Joe's been alive, the more adrift he feels without them.

But occasionally, they each need to take some time off. Sometimes Andy disappears for a few months. Sometimes Booker. In the old days it was Quynh. Sometimes when one of them needs some time off the others disperse as well, sometimes they don't. 

When Joe starts feeling drained more often than not, irritable, resentful of things he normally loves doing for the others, he knows it's time. When he can tell Nicky is approaching the same mental state, they agree it's time to take a few weeks off. 

Andy asks where they're going, and whether they'll be reachable, in case some urgent job comes in. 

"A house in Malta," Joe says, even though they haven't booked anything yet. Malta has always been good for them, bringing back fond memories of home-not-home for each of them in different ways. "And we'll come if you need us."

"We should probably do a humanitarian mission in the region," Booker says, looking down at the newspaper he's reading. "Provide every resident on the island with earplugs."

Nicky rolls his eyes, and Andy's lips quirk. Joe thinks Booker's teasing comes off bitter more often than lighthearted, which he finds worrying, but then maybe that reaction to Booker's jokes is why he needs some time away. 

"Enjoy yourselves, boys," Andy says, as her parting words. 

2\. 

"Green curry? Again?" Nicky asks, sitting on a stool in the kitchen. 

Joe is bent over, looking through the refrigerator, moving around plastic bags. "You want linguini? We can make linguini."

"No," Nicky says. "I'm tired of pasta."

"Chicken sandwiches?" Joe asks, finding some chicken in the back that probably won't poison them to death. 

"Hmm... that's not dinner," Nicky says, as if they haven't had every configuration of foods at every time of the day over the course of their lives. 

Joe sighs and grits his teeth. There are only a few ingredients in the fridge they haven't covered yet. "Eggs and salad?" 

Nicky thinks about it for a moment. "No, too much chewing."

Joe rises and closes the fridge. He takes a deep breath. This is why they came here. To recharge, reconnect, make these small annoyances less... annoying. 

"Amore mio," Joe says, turning to face Nicky. "Our next option is the pizza down the street."

Nicky makes a face. 

"Great," Joe says. "So you suggest something then."

Nicky makes a face again, but this time his mouth is turned comically downward and his eyebrows are pulled up, making his eyes look bigger. It's infuriatingly adorable. "Hayati, what if we just forgo eating altogether? Have we died by starvation before? It can't be that bad."

Joe rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. "Habibi, you have to make some decisions, I'm sorry."

"But I don't want anything," Nicky sighs. "And yet we're both hungry. Life gets harder with every century."

Joe throws his hands up in the air and shakes his head in frustration. "I swear, sometimes I can't even--"

Nicky doesn't let him finish the sentence, he gets up from his stool and grabs Joe's face, pressing their lips together. 

3\. 

Joe's face is wet, his beard is wet, the pillow under his chin is wet, even the sheets have damp spots all around him, from every spot his mouth has touched since Nicky's tongue buried itself in Joe's ass. 

They don't often have the downtime, the peace and quiet, to do this for long. To really indulge in it. 

Right now, Joe is whimpering, biting into his own arm, feeling the spit cover everything, as Nicky's fingers spread his cheeks wide and his mouth is sucking and licking at Joe like he's dinner. 

His legs are already spread so wide, but Nicky makes him feel like it's not enough. Joe's dick is rubbing against the sheets, dry despite a few drops of wetness, the friction painful but not so much that it negates the arousal. 

Nicky pulls away, takes a breather, and then dives back in, and Joe moans, deep in his throat, like the sounds are being pulled out of him with a hook. 

Nicky doesn't let him go until Joe is coming, tears in his eyes, his face covered in sweat, his cock on fire from too much rubbing against the dry sheets, his balls squeezed gently in Nicky's grip, just a hint of pressure. 

They end up eating chicken and bread. Nicky grabs the food from the kitchen and brings it into the bedroom. 

When they're done Nicky puts the empty food platter down on the floor and goes back to torturing Joe with his fingers. He makes Joe moan and cry out, on his stomach again, with Nicky's full weight on his back. Nicky's fingers go from two to three to four, and Joe is begging in some language, he doesn't know which one, by the time Nicky puts his entire hand inside of him. He comes like that, with Nicky stroking his cock, and then cries and begs Nicky not to take his hand out. 

Nicky kisses all along his spine and whispers loving explanations into Joe's ear about how he really will need the use of his hand again some time in the near future. 

They fall asleep soon after. 

4\. 

"Cuore mio," Nicky says, when Joe comes into their bedroom two days later. His face tells Joe he's fighting his own rising temper. "Did you shower after your run?"

Joe had. They'd woken up, had breakfast, Joe made coffee and then gave Nicky a blowjob in the sunlit kitchen, then Nicky had gone for a swim and Joe, who was tired of washing his hair from the salt, went for a run. Then he'd come back, while Nicky was still out, and showered, and...

He looks over at the bed. Of course. 

"Wet towels belong anywhere, habib albi, except on the bed," Nicky says, clearly trying to stay calm. "On the floor? Great idea. In the closet? Terrible, but I would mind less. In the bathroom? Their natural place. But on the bed? Soaking through the sheets and the mattress?" His voice rises on the last words. 

Joe can bring up the fact that this is not any of their permanent beds, sheets or mattresses. It's a rented house, where they can always compensate the owner for any damages done. 

But pointing that out would be the wrong tactic. 

"When was the first time I explained this to you?" Nicky wonders aloud. "1874? 1886? I remember we were in Paris, I can't remember which time."

It had actually been closer to 1940, it had taken a while before they were consistently staying in places that had indoor plumbing. 

"Ya amar, you know I didn't mean to," Joe says. "It just slipped my mind." 

Nicky had left the towels where they were, evidence of Joe's crimes. Joe decides now is as good a time as any to grab them and toss them on the floor of the bathroom. 

"It always slips your mind, doesn't it?" Nicky says, pacing. "Too bad tattoos don't last on us, maybe that would do the trick."

Joe touches the mattress. It really is soaked in a few spots.

"Toss it over a chair!" Nicky says. "Stomp on it, throw it out of the window, set it on fire! Those are all better options."

"I think setting it on fire would be quite difficult," Joe says, coming closer to Nicky. "I'd have to dry it first." He takes Nicky's hand, and despite still looking angry, Nicky doesn't pull away. 

"I'm sorry, my love," Joe says, looking into Nicky's eyes. "I'll try not to do it again." 

Nicky huffs, but when Joe leans in for a kiss, he allows it. 

"Let me make it up to you," Joe says, when they pull apart. 

5.

They hadn't fully unpacked their suitcases yet - taking out only toiletries and swim trunks - and now is the perfect time. 

Nicky's favorite toy is always a stretch and a challenge, and while he can't hurt himself beyond momentary pain, Joe still doesn't approve of him starting from it, no matter how excited he is. 

So, they started from a much smaller dildo, the size of about three of Joe's fingers. Nicky lies on the couch, next to the open suitcase, one leg on the floor and one on the cushion, spread out like a feast, and Joe pushes it into him, until he's moaning and pushing his hips back and ordering Joe to give him more. 

When they do switch to the bigger toy, a dildo and a vibrator in one, they move back to the bedroom. 

Nicky kneels and Joe helps him place the massive, artificial cock in the right position and slowly lower himself onto it. Nicky's face is the most godly thing Joe's ever seen - hitching little breaths rocking his chest, eyes half closed, mouth open, cheeks flushed. He whimpers as he sits down fully, not taking the toy in all the way, but as deep as it will go in this position. 

Joe kisses him, as Nicky starts to fuck himself on the dildo, hips rising and falling. Joe swallows all the sounds coming out of his mouth, like precious rainwater. 

"It's so much," Nicky moans, breathless. "I forgot... I forgot how much..."

He always forgets. It's part of what makes it so good for him, every time. He never gets used to the sensation. 

Joe pushes three fingers into Nicky's mouth and Nicky licks them eagerly, even biting down gently with his teeth. 

Joe smirks and pulls them out, wrapping them around the head of Nicky's cock. He's so sensitive there, more sensitive than Joe, because of his foreskin. He grabs the head with two fingers in the front and one in the back and rubs them together. 

It's just enough stimulation for Nicky to feel it, down to his core, but not enough to get him off, even if Joe were to do this for hours, as experience has shown. 

"No, Joe, please," Nicky says, dropping his head to rest against Joe's shoulder, arms wrapping themselves around Joe's back. 

Joe keeps giving him gentle, barely-there rubbing, and Nicky keeps rising and falling on the dildo, and Nicky keeps murmuring to Joe that he should stop, while making it clear he wants the opposite. 

"Please, I can't," Nicky whispers, every breath now an audible struggle. "Please, Joe, don't do it."

Joe kisses Nicky's hair, his neck, the crook of his shoulder. He shifts his loose grip on Nicky's cock and feels Nicky's tears soak through his shirt. 

"I need to come," Nicky says, raising his head and kissing Joe, sloppy and disoriented. It's their signal that the game has to end. 

Joe whispers how perfect Nicky is in his ear while wrapping a firmer hand around his cock. He jerks him off with fast, brutal strokes, and Nicky screams when he comes, going limp in Joe's arms. 

Joe puts the toys away, while Nicky recovers, and puts a thin blanket over the wet spot from the towels. 

6.

Three weeks later, they're reunited with Andy and Booker in Geneva. They spend four days living in a shack, all four of them, while the rain outside barely ever stops. Andy has a new job for them, and they spend every waking moment studying schematics and coming up with plans. 

After Nicky makes everyone eggs, salad and bread rolls for dinner, the next morning Joe opens the carton of eggs to find several empty shells that should have been thrown out but instead were put back where the eggs had been. 

He tosses them in the bin and doesn't think about it again.


End file.
